Find your joy
Trigger warning - loss
What sparks your joy?
Last year mum and I went to a style workshop (shout-out to Caitlin Byrne at Flat Noir - thank you for an awesome experience!)
We went because we were bored with what we were wearing and wanted to be more fabulous.
In mum's case, it was because she'd been doing yoga three times a week and had tightened up her core and lost a couple of dress sizes so none of her clothes fit any more. In my case, it was because I'd worn the same "waitress uniform" of black pants and a black shirt for about 18 months straight and I felt like I was becoming a default goth out of sheer laziness.
Mum and I were planning to do a wardrobe audit this year and throw out everything that didn't spark our joy - then go on a shopping spree with my tax return!
But everything changed when mum died unexpectedly just before Christmas.
Me and Mum last year
Mum was onto something...
I spent January pretty much in the foetal position - which mum would have been really annoyed about. She didn't believe in wallowing. She believed in having a good time.
Even at the end, she caused a stir - skipping the funeral and choosing instead to have her ashes blown sky high in a blaze of fireworks. She was much too fabulous to do things the "normal" way.
Mum was onto something about life that I somehow never got the memo about. Workaholic-me once told her she was the grasshopper that sang all summer (a reference to Aesop's famous fable about a carefree insect who mocked the hard-working ant but didn't plan for the cold winter). In retrospect, I'm only annoyed I said it like it was a bad thing.
Mum did sing all summer and she enjoyed every moment of it - which is just as well because her winter never came.
Time to find my joy
And now I'm sitting here looking at my bulging wardrobe and piles of stuff all over the house thinking, "It's time".
Mum and I had a lot of fun plans for this year. We were going to do a wardrobe audit and throw away anything that didn't spark joy. We were going to do a style challenge. We were going to shop our own wardrobes and find new and interesting ways to combine things we'd forgotten about. We were going to revitalise the lovely things we already had but that we're a bit bored with by adding cool new accessories instead of blowing the budget on a whole bunch of new stuff. And we were going to get creative and express our artistic sides (we're both very creative but somehow I forgot about that...)
We were both really excited about it. It was going to be fun.
So I'm going to do it anyway. Partly for myself and partly because I know she'd be really disappointed if I didn't.
But since she's not here, I'd like to share the experience with you. We all deserve to feel more joyful and just a touch more fabulous.
In the coming weeks I'm going to share some of the cool projects mum and I were cooking up for 2019 and dammit, I'm going to find my joy and start living in the moment! I'm going to be that grasshopper who learns how to sing in summer and I'm going to start making the most of all the little moments that make up a life. I hope you'll join me.
Thanks beautiful people for hanging with with me so far. This is going to be awesome!
P.S. If you're not a VIP already, please sign up here so you can stay in touch with the journey. I'd really love to share it with you. Also you get a special VIP gift when you sign up, so that's pretty excellent too :) xx
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